Everything's Bigger In Texas Except For Hiei
by Plot Bunnie Queens
Summary: The YYH gang are granted a 'nice' vacation from Koenma for their good work. For some odd reason they are sent to Texas. Little did they know they would have three crazy neighbors. Stuffed with funny, crazy, and random crack fic goodness. R
1. To Texas and Beyond!

A/N Hello there everybody. This is a crazy story written by three, yes count them three, writers. The writing styles may change slightly in different scenes depending on who wrote them but you'll just have to deal with that. This is our first story, and yes there will be more, so please be kind. No flaming or we'll be meanie heads. So like the summary says the Yu Yu Gang is in Texas and they wind up having crazy crazy neighbors. Hiei can't speak english, and Yusuke is as much of a perv as ever...Did we mention that all the females in the Yu Yu Hakusho series conveniently don't exist? Well there we just did. This isn't a huge romance fic but there might be a teeny bit of that. Mostly this a random story. Enjoy.

"…This is it?"

"It's…huge!"

"That's what she said!"

"Shut up Urameshi!"

Kurama glared at his human friends, shaking his head at the utter idiocracy of the not-so-closet pervert.

"Why is this so goddamn cheerful?" Hiei growled, staring upwards at the happy yellow two story abode they were to make a living in for the next few months. A, 'rewarding vacation for a job well done,' Koenma had called it. "Hn."

"How did you even get him here?" The black haired spirit detective motioned toward the disgruntled koorime. Kurama's emerald eyes darkened slightly.

"…You really don't want to know."

Was it just the detective's imagination or did Hiei look…slightly less malicious?

"Well seeing as Koenma conveniently moved all of our stuff in for us, I propose we take a look around the neighborhood." Kurama piped up, all too cheerily for Hiei's taste.

"Let's not and say we did." Kuwabara edged toward the door, longing to just pass out on the couch for the remainder of the months. Jet-lag is a bitch and it has puppies.

"Now, now, don't be a party pooper Kuwa--"

"AHHH!!"

A chorus of blood curdling screams echoed around the group. "Damsels in distress!" Yusuke cried victoriously, a deviant smirk spilling across his face. Quickly he threw up one arm and bounded across the freshly cut lawn. "I call the pretty one!"

"Human females being tortured. Shall we watch?" Kurama eyed his friend--Hiei showed a bit too much enthusiasm at such prospects from time to time.

"…Maybe we should just help them." The fox demon suggested, striding in time with his smallish friend. Hiei rolled his crimson eyes with a short, "Hn."

The two demons walked to the neighbor's house, the place they were certain they'd heard the screech emit from. (Yusuke and Kuwabara, however, were quite certain the cry had been from the house across the street…Poor souls.) For a moment Kurama stood in the driveway, Hiei perched on top of the broken-down van in the trees near it. The house was, in a word, creepy. There was practically a miniature forest surrounding the stout one-story home. (Of course the town they were in was nicknamed, 'The Livable Forest,' so nearly every house including the one they were staying at had a forest, but this was different. It was dark and foreboding.) Darkened windows peeked out from overgrown bushes, the bricks were stained and crumbling slightly. Animals were _everywhere_. Squirrels munched on bricks of corn nailed to the towering trees and a beat up looking Tom Cat laid in the driveway. ("Is that thing dead?" "Don't look in its eyes.")

Rusted and deteriorating bikes sat nestled between the trees, immobile. A wooden water wheel was collapsed into itself, only adding to the abandoned appearance of the place.

"No one lives here." Kurama puzzled; scratching his head in wondered.

"You may be right…" Hiei leapt down from his perch, glaring in concentration at the small building.

Kurama sauntered to the walkway that lead to the front door. "Perhaps the home is simply in such disarray because they have left it unkempt. It still smells human…And like penguin…"

Hiei, nodding, passed Kurama up, instantaneously standing in front of the door. And array of cobwebs graced the walkway, two broken guide lights had been placed on either side of the mahogany passage.

"Hm, maybe we should--" Kurama was cut off as Hiei pushed the door open with his small foot.

"…It's unlocked." Hiei stepped into the darkened hallway.

" Breaking and entering. I wonder what the sentence for that is in America…"

"Oh god, oh god! Crap! It's him! Kill it, kill it!" A shrill female voice bellowed, a dull thump sounding shortly after.

"You throw that remote at my face one more time and god help you--" A threatening screech responded, followed by another _thunk_.

"Guys! Hey! Guys! SKANKS BE QUIET!" Kurama and Hiei halted, they were at the end of the hallway. "There's someone here." Light footsteps neared the pair of demons.

"Hello." A head poked out from behind the brick wall that sealed off the majority of the living room.

"Um…"

The little girl's electric blue shoulder length hair was streaked with a darker cerulean, her matching eyes narrowed and locked on the two males. "Tasha, c'mere." The blond stepped out from behind the wall.

Kurama craned down, holding his hand next to his mouth and Hiei's ear. "Hiei--she's shorter than--"

"Don't finish that sentence." The spiky haired demon hissed in response under his breath.

"What is it Kat?" A tousled looking brunette rounded the corner, her constantly color changing eyes closed.

"Do you know them?" The blond jerked her head towards Kurama and Hiei, the later of the two desperately wishing for a katana of some sort.

"…Hold on…" The lanky brunette pushed her way past a seething Hiei and down the hallway, opening a door on the left. She emerged a moment later, blinking rapidly.

"You were playing without your contacts?" Kat's eyes turned half-mass.

"Of course. Why else would I keep running into the walls like that." Her, currently, bright green eyes flickered over to the red-head. "You're pretty." She announced with a grin, sticking out her hand. "My name is Natasha. Grumpy Butt over there is Kathryn." She paused.

"Why are you in my house?" Natasha smiled again, and Kathryn promptly elbowed her in the stomach.

"Dipshit, they could be murderers!" She hissed.

"Naw. They're too pretty." Tasha beamed another smile, "Besides, we have mace."

"The hell guys! Don't leave me alone with this thing! He's got knives! He'll kill me! Oh god!"

"Samara would you kindly shut the fuck up?" Kat retorted, rubbing the side of her head.

"And there's our damsel." Kurama muttered with a sigh, following Hiei around the corner.

"Holy hell! Where did that come from! Help! Hey hold up! That's cheating! You can't--oh no, you can! Shrimp!"

The girl was standing before a large plasma screen in the center of the room, just in front of a dark oak coffee table. She was fairly tall, not quite as tall as Natasha but still had more altitude than little Kathryn. Long chestnut colored hair came to a halt around her mid back, which was turned, and thus they had no clue what her eye color was. But there was, however, one thing that was obvious.

Rather than a shirt, she instead wore a flamboyantly purple sports bra. Sure it covered. Sure the outside temperature was equivalent to a thousand burning white hot suns. Sure she wasn't obese. Still, for Kurama, it was awkward. Especially when she turned to reveal her chest in all it's oversized glory.

She focused on the two boys, fear in her eyes from the contraption she was working on the screen (_Perhaps it's a séance? _Hiei wondered)

Kurama misread this fear as her thinking them intruders. But, just as he began to utter an apology for coming in unannounced, she threw the remote in her hand full force at Hiei's head (who, naturally, dodged it swiftly) and fell into the fetal position. "Kill it, kill it!" She cried, manically giggling in a cold panic.

Not questioning, Hiei took a flying leap into the TV screen.

In a manner very much resembling that of Chuck Norris, the television was decimated.

"Who _are_ you people!?" Natasha screeched (she and Kat had run into the living room to locate the source of the chaos, only to be met with a forlorn looking dead plasma.)

"We're… er… your new neighbors." Kurama chuckled nervously as Natasha reached for the mace.

"_We can fix it._"

"Hey! You guys are Chinese!"

Natasha threw the can of mace at her voluptuous friend.

"He said they can fix it. And they're _Japanese_, numbnuts." Natasha clarified (learning languages in her spare time was a special indulgence- she's a total geek.) Kat nodded sagely in agreement. (She just watched far too much anime.)

"We are going to walk out of this room for five minutes. When we come back the TV is fixed." Natasha grinned evilly, grabbing Kurama by the scruff of his neck, Kat grabbed the most well endowed of the three by the strap of her bra.

"Why are you taking me too?" Kurama glanced back over his shoulder at a quite appalled looking Hiei. In the background one could hear Samara growling. "Lemme go Kat! I know how to- ouch!" Evidently, her knowing how to walk included hitting tables.

"Because you're pretty and we're bored." Sam answered simply, rubbing her injured femur. Kurama visibly paled.

"C'mon, let's watch guys getting nailed in the nuts on you tube." Kat's blue eyes held a disturbingly evil glint. Sam tossed her hands up victoriously, much in the same manner Yusuke had not too long ago. "Yay! Ball smacking!" Tasha promptly whacked her head. "Loudness down!"

The foursome turned the corner of the hallway and left Hiei to his own (devious) devices.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"You know what?"

"What Sam?"

"We don't even know their names!" Sam nodded, crossing her arms in a 'dignified' manner.

Kurama was confused, he was in a un-air conditioned room (probably the only one in the state of Texas) with various mementos of the Asian culture littered about the (disgustingly clean) room. Two large windows reached up to the ceiling, which came to a point high above their heads. A computer desk (yes, with a computer on it) was the only part of the room that was seemingly disorganized. Papers, sodas, and other such things were sprawled across the table. An ornate red, black, and cream futon straggled alongside a four-level bookcase, brimming with sappy manga.

"Well, I'm Suichi, my friend is Hiei. There's two more with us, but I'm not exactly sure where they ran off to…"

Sam stepped forward, her gray eyes deeply determined.

"I… am the great Samara!" she exclaimed, entirely serious one hang clenched over her chest, that was now clothed in a black tank top. Kat rolled her eyes in a typical display, though Kurama seemed oddly responsive to it.

"Yeah… that's Sam." The rumpled brunette scowled, shoving the girl down behind the futon she and Kurama were situated on. "Make yourself comfy." she ordered Samara, who stood up, face indignant. "I'm Natasha, and this little ball of fluff is Kathryn- hey! Kat! No biting!" As she yelled this, she began beating off a gnawing Kat.

_America is a strange, _strange_ place…_

"So what are you doing in America?" Kat asked, wiping her mouth (Tasha's lotion tasted sooo nasty.) All three looked expectantly to the red-head, who, in turn, leaned further back into the couch.

"Vacation." Suichi answered plainly.

"For how long?" Sam leaned on the back of the futon he was sitting on, having finally righted herself. She leaned her face on her hands, peering down at Kurama. A silly grin was plastered on her face.

"Three months or so, I suppose." Natasha plopped down on the futon, stretching out so her legs pinned down the plant guru's thighs.

"Hey, why don't you guys stick with us? My parents are out of town till September…" Tasha sat up on her elbows; Kurama stared down at her legs. (_If I head for the door now…_) He contemplated any violent ramifications.

"Your parents are leaving you alone for that long? Why?" He attempted to stand, but succeeded only in dumping the wiry girl off his lap and onto the floor in a heap of twisted limbs. Samara giggled erratically, and Kat herself appeared deeply amused.

"Er… plot hole."

"What?"

"Nothing! Oh, hey, look, S'been five minutes, let's check on Hiei, huh?" Kat stared after her friend- she had absolutely no idea where the author was going with this nonsense.

Natasha led the group down the hallway (she was always in front because "If there's a mass murderer in this crazy ass dark hallway of yours , _you_ will be the first to die." quote/unquote Samara) and into the living room.

There, in the center of the wall was the biggest plasma screen television they had _ever seen_. It was so big it took up almost half the wall! (The group's eyes widened. "These don't exist outside the author's fantasy world! Huzzah!")

"How did you _do_ that!?" Kat was practically hugging the ginormous screen, Sam had taken to bowing before it, muttering something akin to 'I am not worthy, I am not worthy….' and sobbing in a ritualistic manner.

"_Tell them that if the police come not to mention me."_ Sam stared blank faced toward the boy, spacey as usual. Kat was satisfied with her hugging (_What?_) Meanwhile, Tasha cracked up, shaking her head at the small boy.

"_No worries Hiei. I'll say it was an extremely generous break in. They left stuff instead of taking it!_"

Hiei looked to Tasha, shocked. "_A native speaker?_"

Natasha glared, all cheerfulness dissipated from her suddenly blue eyes. "_What am I, some kind of American Indian? You're just lucky my friends DNA is already contaminating the screen to incriminate us, because believe me, we'd get a load of money for turning in your thieving ass."_

Kurama peeked to Hiei, emerald eyes surprised. '_Lively bunch of ladies, no?'_

He watched as the girls filed out of the room, mumbling amongst themselves then bursting into spontaneous laughter as they stepped down the hall.

Hiei made himself at home, flopping shamelessly onto the cream colored couch cushions, crossing his arms in frustration. '_Honestly, I could care less. Maybe we can just ignore them, find the oaf and his detective friend and teleport the twelve or so miles to El Paso. Seems like that place would be a little more tranquil than-'_

The demons stopped their psychic communications as both sets of eyes shot up at the excruciatingly loud cries from the hallway, soon followed by a spraying noise , masculine shouts and some dull thuds, then banging and smacking sounds.

Hiei jumped to his feet. "Don't tell me…" Kurama trailed off.

The two rounded the corner and a shocking scene lay before them.

Tasha stood in front of the door, her trusty mace dripping from the nozzle in her hand, Kat and Sam stood over two baldy bruised, beaten, and bloody figures, stomping them mercilessly into the cold black stone. And the two on the ground? Well, here's a real shocker: Yusuke and Kuwabara, who, until a few moments before were sure that their 'Damsels in Distress' were distressed out of helplessness.

"Who knew pretty ladies could be so mean?"


	2. Accidents Will Happen

**A/N**: This time being narrated by the Great and Powerful Samara! Yes, indeedy do- I've got news for you! (Wow, bad rhyme..) ANYWHO! NOTES: 1) Kurama and Samara are a joke pairing (even though I love him). There will be a lot of them YusukexKathryn, Hiei messing up and thinking that height dictates romance and trying to be HieixKathryn, NatashaxKuwabara (oddball...) So don't turn away when you get to the Kurama lipstick scene- it's funny. Not gross.

AND 2) ...Hiei is afraid of automotive vehicles in this series. It's funny. We laugh. So should you.

Any other questions? REVEIW THEM! :) We'll be sure to responde A-sap!

3) Before I explain it in the story, I'll explain it here: 'Seth' is the name Samara has dubbed for Kurama because she can't pronounce "Suichi". Simple? Yes. Hiei: High-Kick. Yusuke: Yo-Yo. Kuwabara: the only one she can pronouce. O.o Yes. Odd.

4) And for the authoress' purposes, Hiei still has his dragon scar. :) It's pretty and necessary for funny jokes.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-CHAPTER TWO-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The three girls shuffled into the hallway, murmuring amongst themselves (they did that a lot…) Today's topic happened to be 'Suichi's' hair.

"I'm telling you it's lumpy."

"Maybe he hides candy in it!?"

"….I don't know you."

"Dude, that old lady said they came in here, this _has_ to be it!" A male voice echoed from outside.

Tasha stuck her hand out to stop the girls, she made a shushing motion with her slim hand.

"Just kick it open, it's probably unlocked anyway." The same masculine voice was punctuated by the tick mahogany door flying open and two tall (and slightly intimidating) guys stepped through. The male on the left had his red hair pulled into some odd fashion, his brown eyes narrowed and darted about in a confused manner. He was adorned in a blue school uniform, and his leg was hiked up. Obviously it was him who kicked in the door. His companion was almost as tall as him with slicked back ebony hair. His nearly black, brown eyes were half lidded and focused on the other boy. "Way to be discrete, dip shit."

"Er….. Hi there pretty ladies!"

Said ladies were peeking out from behind Natasha (Did she have no fear!?) eyes wide in wonder- excluding Kat, that is. Her eyes were fixed on the spirit detective , and even though he was exceptionally good looking, she didn't like the fact that they'd just busted down the door.

Tasha was the first to attack.

"Mace! Get the mace!" Tasha spun, grabbling her can of Acidic Attack Liquid (as it was so dubbed by the label on it).

"Creepy people! Creepy people!" Sam screeched, covering her eyes and punched blindly.

Kat, however, remained quiet as she proceeded to ruthlessly kick the two men. Natasha sprayed the mace liberally amongst the two confused faces of Yusuke and Kuwabara, watching in glee as the male specimens writhed in pure agony.

Overall, it was an exceedingly funny scene.

"Ow! Goddamn it! Get the hell off!" Ow!"

The fox demon sprinted around the corner, Hiei trailing behind lazily.

"Um… Miss Samara! Miss Kathryn, Miss Natasha…"

The females halted with their parade of beating people senseless.

"They are with us. My apologies for their recklessness…"

"Oh." The women said in unison, all looking to one another whispering and nodding.

The trio hurried down the darkened hallway (stepping over the motionless bodies of Yusuke and Kuwabara in the process) and back into the computer room, slamming the door shut behind them.

"Alright, now that there's four of them… we can afford to lose one! Commence: Operation Get Money Quick!" Tasha declared, plopping herself down in the computer chair, Sam and Kat stood behind her, eager.

"Captain Planet!" Kat shuddered, flinching. Sam gave her a sideways glance, had she forgotten her meds _again_?"

The two girls turned slowly, blankly staring at the bluenette. Kat's crazed smile vanished and her usual uncaring expression returned as she crumpled to the floor, hugging her knees.

"Get to work you idiots." She growled.

Natasha rolled her eyes before turning back to the computer screen. "Okay… Sam, what model was that TV?"

Samara quickly spouted off the brand name, model number and size. As spacey as she was, she was exceptionally good at remembering the small details. Natasha's fingers twitched quickly, pushing the keys on the keyboard down ruthlessly.

"Holy crap-o-la." The lanky figure commented.

"Ooooh!" Sam piped in.

"That fucking sweet." The shortest stated, seeming to appear at Tasha's side magically, the other two girls jumped slightly as she spoke.

--

At this time, at the opposite end of the house, Kurama was helping the spirit detective and his lackey up off the floor.

"That one girl looked like a ghost she was so pale!" Kuwabara shouted, rubbing his stinging eyes with a bruised arm.

"Yeah, but she was a hot pale ghost girl." Yusuke retorted, putting a hand to his throbbing head.

"What was with them?" the blue shirted man muttered.

"Well, you did break their door, you imbecile." Hiei deadpanned, looking at said idiot from the corner of his frighteningly red eyes.

"Shut it shrimp!" Hiei made a move to severe the humans head, but was held back by a scolding Kurama.

"That one girl had a very large chest.." The spirit detective mused, rubbing his chin.

Kurama turned sharply. "Yusu--" Before he could finish, Sam came bounding down the hall and promptly slapped Yusuke across the face. Then, she whipped around, pointing to Kuwabara who let out a surprised yelp.

"Kuwabara, I blame you!"

"How do you know my name!"

Natasha leaned out the doorway to the computer room. "No questions!" The statement was followed by a sharp hissing sound produced by Kathryn.

The girls motioned for Sam to come back, after the shapely girl made it through, Natasha slammed the door vehemently, leaving the boys to trade confused looks.

"Isn't that girl _ever_ pleasant?" Kurama muttered in regards to Kat.

Suddenly, the door opened and the blue haired girl stepped out with a sweet smile. "Are you guys hungry at all?"

"Ehehe, look at that smile…" Yusuke cooed, smiling like an idiot as he pulled Kat's cheek (not a very intelligent thing to do. Scientific proof that men learn nothing.)

Her smile quickly dropped from her pale face.

"Don't get used to it." Kathryn pried the detective off her face, twisting his hand just enough to hurt, but not enough to break it. Yusuke withdrew, a terrified look in his dark chocolate eyes.

Kurama stepped forward as the representative of the idiots whom could not speak for themselves. "We _are_ rather hungry." The red head smiled politely at the small girl, who returned the grin with equal warmth. She had apparently taken to him. (And by 'taken' we mean "If given the choice, she would preferably harm someone else rather than him." A great compliment by her standards.

Yusuke shot an envious look at Kurama, whom just shrugged nonchalantly.

Kathryn pushed past the red haired fox demon and cut through the dining (not in working order) to the kitchen.

Though not very large in size, the kitchen was brightly lit with an excess of oversized windows (only succeeding in making it more creepy- not less) The walls were a cheery yellow, there was a bamboo plant growing in the window sill. Just your average kitchen.

"Um… what is this?" Yusuke had picked up a round looking bright red vegetable.

Kathryn raised a knife to point with, staring lazily at the spirit detective. The glinting metal made him slightly uneasy… With a frown, the girl spoke.

"Why did you follow me in here?"

Yusuke shrugged; lucky for him this seemed to be enough for Kat. She lowered her weapon choice, but did not put it down. For Yusuke, the danger was still at hand.

"That's a tomato."

"What's a tomato? Is it a vegetable?"

She glared impatiently. "No, a fruit."

"Really?"

Kat didn't respond, simply shaking her head and turning away. How could Yusuke go through his whole life without knowing what a tomato was?

Kat turned her head to look over her shoulder.

"Plot hole." she whispered, gaining strange glances from those in the room (all except Samara, who nodded all knowingly in agreement.)

"Wait, when did _they _get here?" Kuwabara stared at the new arrivals.

"Mind your own business Kuwabara!" Natasha screeched. Sam glared violently.

"I know!" Samara screamed. Kurama gently placed his hands over his ears.

"_What?"_ Hiei questioned. Samara stared at him blankly.

Natasha rolled her eyes, patting the spiky haired demon on the head. "He said that he loves you."

Hiei whipped around, letting out a long angry stream of Japanese words. Kurama chuckled softly, as did Tasha. The short demon growled, crossing his arms. Samara smiled obliviously. "Oh, how sweet." she beamed over to him, patting the frowning koorime on the shoulder, "But your not my type."

Hiei's frown deepened as he glared at the group around him. "Not your type? What-?" Hiei growled deep his throat, then ripped his off his cloak. Unfortunately for Kuwabara, it landed right on his head.

"Oh, God! Not again!"

"Hold still, lemme get it- ow! You bit me!"

"Sorry! I don't like being touched in the dark!"

"What, brings back bad memories?"

"SHUT UP, UREMESHI!"

Face suddenly overly expressive, he pointed righteously at his right arm. "You see this dragon? It's a symbol of my power!"

Samara leaned in to get a better looked, ooh'd, then leaned back, face set. "Neat. Tattoos bore me."

Hiei's face fell, shocked at how utterly unaware she could be. Yusuke and Kat's faces expressed thier complete disbelief at the scene playing out. Natasha smirked. "I like tattoos."

Kuwabara hopped forward, baring his left arm. "I have a tattoo! It's a kitty!" The small kitten stared wide-eyed at the girl meant to be impressed.

Her eyes flattened. "Gay."

Kuwabara's face fell as well. "I... can make it look like a demonic kitty..."

Hiei glared yet again, preparing to show more scars of 'manhood'. But, rather than allowing this innappropriate (yet far too entertaining) scene play out, Kurama rushed forward to intervene. "Please, Hiei, be mindful that she's just a silly girl..."

Samara gasped, outraged. "A silly girl! I thought you liked me!"

Kurama spun on a heel, trying to fix his goof. "I do! I mean, I'm just trying to calm him down..."

Not taking no for an answer, Hiei approached her. "Then explain simply to me why I'm 'not your type'!" He put his hands up in the very mortal symbol of quotation marks, as though this would help the girl understand.

She, in response, cried, "Explain to me why you can suddenly speak English!"

Silence.

"N-nani?"

"That's what I thought." She smiled, turning away. "Besides, you'd be more attractive if you were taller."

He allowed his draw to drop just a fraction of an inch, blown away by her comment. _T-taller...?_

"Uh... So, um, you were sayin' earlier? Kuwabara prodded. It was hard to bounce back from this whole epidemic, but he figured side-tracking Samara would do the trick.

Sam perked up. "Right! We should play Sims!"

"Oh…" Natasha and Sam whispered to one another before deviously grinning at the men. It was all rather sudden, but the two femmes had managed to drag the males down the hallway and into the computer room. Kuwabara was the only one kicking and screaming.

"What the hell just happened?" Yusuke questioned from his position. He was resting his chin on the counters, staring at the basket of vegetables… and fruits, he assumed. Kat plucked another tomato from the container, Yusuke's brown eye following the motion. The short girl sighed in response.

"Want one?" Kat asked quietly; Yusuke nodded hungrily.

"Hell yeah!" Kathryn plucked a particularly large looking tomato off the window sill, washed it quickly and started cutting it up into bite-sized slices.

"Why do you have so many?" The spirit detective questioned, fingering one of the smaller, ripe fruits with interest. "And why are they red?"

"Natasha's family keeps a garden. These and strawberries are the only things they can grow. Birds get to everything else." Kat finished the dicing and scraped the food into a plastic bowl. "As for your other question, I am uncertain. Maybe it's because they're with the strawberries."

Yusuke nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense…"

Kat smirked. He must have been flunking everything and lacking in any scrap of parental guidance not to know what a tomato was, let alone why it was red. "Salt and pepper?" she asked; Yusuke continued nodding. "And will you please stop staring at me? It's a bit creepy." Yusuke kept nodding, this time turning his head to look out of the window.

Kat ground some pepper into the blue bowl, and finished with a dash of sea salt. She shoved it forcefully toward an eager Yusuke, who dove in quickly. Kathryn rolled her eyes as the man began to scarf down his meal, going back to dicing things for dinner.

A faint gagging sound was audible in the background, followed by a smack of face on tile. "Ugh… K-Kat…"

Said girl turned over her shoulder, just timely enough to see a swollen-face spirit detective flop back onto the ground from his laying position.

"Oh, no! Your face!" Kat knelt beside him, feeling the swollen sides of his neck, and his temperature (which, for some odd reason was through the roof).

Kathryn bolted to the computer room, thrusting open the already cracked door. With a splintering sound, it smacked the wall behind it. "Guys-!" Briefly, she looked at the Sims game and then to the sobbing Kuwabara. "Hiei, Kuwabara, Tasha! Help me get Yusuke into the car. I think he's allergic to tomatoes." The urgency had left her voice, now sounding more like annoyance at the prospect of having to drive the numbskull anywhere.

Tasha arched a brow. "How can you tell?" Kat, to respond, thumbed over her shoulder.

Calmly, Tasha walked back to the kitchen, leaving the others to stand there. "Oh my God!" was soon heard, and she sprinted back into the computer room. "You two, hurry up!"

Sam cocked her head to the side. "Why did you come back here to tell us to hurry up? Doesn't it make less sense for you to sprint back here when you could have easily just called for us from the kitchen? I mean, you're wasting more time sitting here talking to us and seriously endangering Yusuke's life. Seriously, now there could be a traffic jam in the hallway and someone else could get hurt and that would be two hospital bills. Or, worse still, we could break one of the paintings on the wall in our fit to save Yusuke, wasting a good 500 simply because you couldn't stand in one place for a set amount of time. Also, what if, say, Hiei steps in cat poop on the way to the car? And Kathryn is all like, 'I don't want cat poop in my car. Clean your feet.' so we have to spend five minutes washing Hiei's feet because Kat's a bitch about these things and then we're putting his life in even more danger! I mean, you all sitting and listening to me talk is already letting his time run out. Yusuke is like a time-bomb right now! Sitting and letting him drift away isn't very-"

"Guys…!" Yusuke had by this time crawled into the hallway, his face still puffy and red. His hand was outstretched toward the group and it appeared he was crying.

Without another word (or retaliation to Samara's suddenly intelligent and perceptive attitude), the group ran forward to help him. "Aw, crap! I stepped in cat poop!" yelled Kuwabara. Samara, now spacey once more, thrust her hand in the air. "I called it!"

Hiei hung back a moment longer than the rest of the group, still transfixed at the utter horridness of the scene on the screen: his sim. And Kuwabara's sim. Under sheets.

"This game is repulsive…"

"Pick him up." Kat demanded, doing her best not to let her panic show. If he died, they were sure to press charges on the chef, not the owner of the household. Kuwabara and Kurama did as they were told, loading the nearly unconscious Yusuke into the backseat of the car. He lolled around, a dazed smirk now on his face. Kurama looked closely at the boy, trying to decide if it was worth it to take him to the hospital.

"I think he's dead."

"I'm driving."

Tasha and Sam paused, the latter stepping out of the driver's seat of the now running car. "What?"

"I have a temporary hardship license and neither of you have a permit… and it's my car…"

The two brunette's stared horrified at the short girl. This was their worst nightmare.

"I refuse to ride in a car with you behind the wheel. I'm staying here." Samara staked firmly.

Kat couldn't relay car at the time.

"Fine, Kurama. Get Hiei to come with us and you stay here with Sam."

"Why must I stay?" the fox demon questioned, slightly worried.

"You're the only one I trust, really."

"Heeeey…." Kuwabara exclaimed, slightly hurt by the comment.

Kurama sighed, putting a hand to his head as he waltzed inside. Kat jumped into the car, turning up the radio of her car to drown out Yusuke's groaning in the back.

"Just orgasm, why don't you?" Kathryn murmured as Hiei piled into the car (unwillingly drawn by Kuwabara). With the petrified koorime secured, the Volkswagen (talk about a tight fit…) sped off, leaving Kurama and Samara… Alone…

--

After about an hour the group returned, Yusuke looking normal, Hiei looking a shade paler than before and slightly peeved, and Tasha singing at the top of her lungs. Kat, however, looked as if she'd just recovered from a heart attack. She stepped out of the car and into the gated side area of the house where there was an old boat- it seemed like something out of one of the original Bond movies… only less awesome. Kathryn, not really caring about cleanliness at the moment, crawled underneath said water-transportation device and laid down on her back. No matter how cold and mean she was, death was not a funny thing, even if he wasn't going to die if exposed to tomatoes-- still, she didn't know that an hour ago.

"Hey."

Kathryn rolled onto her side, looking at Yusuke's shoes with expressed interest. She didn't reply to him, simply waited until he flopped down onto the concrete. He stared at her intently.

"What's your problem?" The dark haired boy commented.

"Shut up and go inside. I'll be in in a moment."

Yusuke frowned, but complied without comment.

He walked into the garage, scratching the back of his head with a sigh. What was her problem? He was the one on the verge of death for the past hour, but she acted as though she'd left a bit of her soul back at the hospital.

Yusuke briskly opened the door. A wave noises flooded his ears, as well as a wave of angry demon energy from Hiei as he entered the living room.

"What's going on?" he questioned Kuwabara. His friend was practically doubled over laughing.

"I didn't know Kurama was like that…" he chortled, wiping tears from his eyes.

"What'd he do, numbnuts?" he yelled, pulling on his friend hair. Simple and effective was of egging an answer from him. The two wrestled for a bit, and finally, the losing party fessed up.

"Well," he mumbled, cupping one hand around his mouth as though it were a secret from anyone but Yusuke. "No one's sure of exactly what, but from that smeared lipstick… I'm thinking you can put two and two together, huh?"

Yusuke leaned up, shaking his head as Kuwabara spiraled into another fit of laughter. "No…way…" he muttered. Tasha sauntered over, also laughing.

"See for yourself!" she giggled, jerking her head toward the hall. "He's in the bathroom."

Without missing a beat, Yusuke started for the hall. Tasha hopped over the cream loveseat. Between it and the coffee table sat the other perpetrator, Samara (who was giggling in a manner much resembling Kuwabara). A lonely remote sat abandoned on the floor inches from her hand. The gangly girl chuckled softly, leaning her head on her hands. "You two didn't do anything, did you?" Laughing a little harder, Samara shook her head, turning a brilliant shade of red.

But, going back to our original hero, Yusuke was not aware of the façade. He approached the bathroom door and found a horrifying scene. Hiei, seated on a closed top toilet, shaking his head. But that wasn't the worst of it. Kurama… was washing lipstick off his face!

"The hell is wrong with you?" Yusuke scolded (of all people). "You'd never do this! You're way too old for her, anyway!" Kurama glared as Yusuke let out a small huff. "What did you do to her, anyway?"

"It's more what we _didn't _do…" the emerald eyed boy mumbled, now trying a soap bar. It was astounding how well this crap stayed on skin…

Yusuke looked disgusted. "Well.. I never thought…" He shook his head in disappointment, turned, and walked back to the living room.

Kurama poked his head out of the doorframe, finally catching the double-meaning of his sentence. "Wait- Yusuke! Not like that…" Yusuke, in response, flipped him off. He was too busy fuming to understand what Kurama meant.

The fox sighed. _It's not worth it_, he thought. _He'll realize soon enough…_

Hiei stood, leaning his back against the brown tile and propping one leg on the toilet. He leaned on his leg, sighing. "So," he crooned, a knowing smirk spreading across his face. "What _did_ happen… again?"

Kurama's eyes rolled back in his head, and he breathed, "I already told you…"

--

The car full of panicking teens (and a miffed and slightly nervous Hiei) screeched out of the driveway, leaving the house to Kurama and the slightly spacey and scatterbrained Samara. "Whoo…" she breathed. She smacked her hand down of Kurama's forearm. "You can thank me later- two lives have been saved today." A warm smiled spread over her lips in response to Kurama's raised brow. "Yours and mine. Kat drives like a maniac in an emergency. She trailed off, her gaze dropping to the concrete driveway. She visibly paled. "Yes…We're both better off…"

Silence ensued. Samara seemed completely engrossed in the horrible memory,

leaving Kurama to stand, confused and helpless. "Uh-.. Um…?"

After about five minutes, the brunette perked up (quite suddenly, thus causing Kurama to jump a bit). "Well ,how about some horror games, then? Hmm?" Just as she turned, the boy grabbed her shoulder, slightly shocked at her lack of memory.

"If I do recall correctly, I believe we discovered this morning that horrific situations don't sit well with you?"

"…Oh…Right.. You were there for that…"

In the end, the two settled for playing the PS2 Sims (Kurama having been the only one who wasn't scarred by the earlier attempt). This lasted for roughly an hour until…

Samara gasped, hearing the screech that meant they'd have to clean the car seats in a few minutes. "Oh!" She spun to Kurama, putting a hand to his lips and smirking.

"Hold still- just go along with me here, mkay?"

Kurama nodded, a bit wary; that is, until he saw the lipstick. "Ooooh…" He smiled. He could take a gander at what she was doing.

She slathered a normal amount of lipstick onto her lips, then smeared some on her hand. The girl reached over, rubbing it on his face. ("Looks so fake…" "Shut up, Seth!" ..._Seth…?_) He chuckled inwardly. Oh, yes. He'd called it.

Crawling into his lap, she questioned. "You a good actor? I know I am."

He peeked to the door, smirking maliciously. "I've pulled a few practical jokes over the boys now and again…"

"Good! They're coming- get ready."

--

Hiei couldn't help but let out a short chuckle. "In the words of Yusuke, what the hell were you thinking?"

Kurama smirked, finally considering his face clean. "That's the point. I wasn't. It's fun to be spontaneous and freak you all out from time to time." A questioning look sprang to his eyes. He swivled on Hiei, looking him in the eyes. "But have you any idea why she called me Seth?"

Hiei shrugged. "Maybe some English compliment?"

"Yeah right!" Tasha chimed in from the doorway. Without turning, Kurama looked to her. "She can't pronounce your name, so she gave you an English one. Guess you're stuck with it. I'm sure you'll all have one, as soon as she remembers the first letter of all of your names. Have fun!"

She walked away, leaving the two to revel in confusion.

Hope you enjoyed and review! Or Kathryn will cut you! O.O Or feed Yusuke more tomatoes. And make Kuwabara and Hiei have more Sims sex. And- well, we'll leave Kurama alone. He's nice.


	3. Aquatic Frivolity

**RAWR! Yes, it is I, the Great Samara! (Yes, I wrote this entire chapter single-handedly since my collegues are getting LAZY! T.T) Anyways- I think it's okay... There are some parts that could be a bit slow, but I feel that you guys will like it! Oh, and don't hate Samara because she's slow- that's part of what makes her funny, in my opinion. Also, if you like Azumanga Daioh, you understand my humor!  
If anyone's out of character, I apologize. And yes, Kurama can't swim in this story- deal with it. . Enjoy!**

Chapter 3- Aquatic Frivolity

"Samara, can I please keep my shirt on?"

"No! It'll slow you down! Now come on out of there!"

With a sigh of frustration, Kurama exited the small hut by the pool, a small twinge of pink on his cheeks. It wasn't that he was self-conscious (far from it); it was just that he greatly disliked having no shirt on in public… That and he couldn't swim anyway- why should he have to wear a bathing suit? He'd had to borrow one from Yusuke- if you sink like a rock, typically you don't invest in the attire mandated for it. It was a pale blue color and reached just below his knees, like most trunks did nowadays.

Samara smiled, "Yep- I had a feeling you'd look good in blue." She cocked her head to the side, looking at his considerably paler torso. "You… don't get out much… do you?" A bit flustered, Kurama shook his head fervently.

"Actually, I get out quite a bi-"

"He never goes out." Yusuke remedied, patting Samara on the shoulder. He, of course, had no problems with the occasion, sporting a suit similar to Kurama's in style, only in his favorite green color. He looked down to Samara, sympathy playing in his eyes. "He's an unfortunately sheltered child. This trip is his chance to break free from his mold!" The boy's eyes were set in the distance, as though imagining the bright and glorious future for his friend.

"Yusuke, please. You're not helping."

The black-haired boy scratched his head, smirk on his face. "Come on, live a little- a dip in the pool won't kill you, will it?"

Rolling his eyes, Kurama glared at the boy, evidently miffed at his lack of tact.

Realization struck. "Oh, yeah…" He mumbled. "The whole, 'I can't swim' thing…"

Samara gasped loudly, turning from her astonished gape at Yusuke to a furiously determined gaze at Kurama. "Well," she said with a grin on her lips. She placed her hands on her hips, covering the strings to her moss-green suit (two pieces, very conservative). "No better time to learn like the present, right? I'll help you learn."

--

Kuwabara perched on the end of the wooden picnic table, hands on his knees. His suit was a cheerful shade of red. One that greatly annoyed Hiei, who stood leaning against one of the thick mahogany pillars that held up the roof to the concrete picnic-area. Hiei, unlike the others, was not wearing a bathing suit. No, he hadn't frightened the girls enough into letting him off easy, nor did he insist upon wearing his own clothes into the pool. He, quite truthfully, simply didn't fit into any of the boys' spare bathing suits. So, rather than a suit, Natasha had lent him some old black denim shorts. (When questioned about why she'd given him denim to swim in, she explained that it was either those or her father's ancient, buttless chaps. Needless to say, Hiei chose the shorts.)

Natasha and Kathryn rested on the seats of the table Kuwabara was on, conversing quietly. Natasha's outfit was a white two-piece with red and light blue floral print. Kathryn's was a similar style, only blue with white polka dots.

The tall girl leaned back, her index finger hanging from her lip in thought. "You know what, Kathryn, you're absolutely right!" The blue haired girl nodded fiercely.

Intrigued, the two boys leaned forward from the posts, questioning, "Right about what?"

Kathryn looked stony-faced to the two, her turquoise eyes angered at their interruption. Then, she lightened up, looking inquisitively at the boys. "Where are you supposed to look when eating a banana? No one ever seems to know."

Hiei and Kuwabara blinked, looking at each other in puzzlement for a moment. It was a good question. One neither of them could currently answer.

"Come on, Seth! I have faith in you!"

"Samara, that's not such a good-!"  
"Ahh!"_ …Splash…_

"… idea…"

The four apart from the idiocy turned to observe just in time to see Samara toss the obviously distressed 'Suichi' into the eleven-foot deep water. No one moved as the bubbles came to a stop. Everyone's face was mortified except for Samara's, who's still held a wide, hopeful grin.

"Any second now…!"

No sign of movement (or life) from the bottom of the pool.

Kuwabara sighed, looking nonchalantly to Hiei. "Well, at least he's not duct-taped this time." Hiei nodded in agreement. Natasha and Kathryn gaped in shock at the two's utter carelessness.

"Detective, you're closest." The small demon pointed into the pool, a bit concerned that no one had quote unquote... "flipped shit" yet.

"Damn it, I know!" Without another word, Yusuke dove into the water; everyone crowded around the pool as the two resurfaced, Kurama gasping for breath.

"Where the hell are the life guards?" he coughed, kneeling on the pool bank.

Natasha shrugged. "Plot hole?"

Samara fell to her knees next to the fox demon, eyes obviously troubled. "Did you breathe before you went under like I told you to?"

Yusuke chuckled at the boy's confused expression, flopping down Indian style by the duo. "I think he breathed _as_ he went under…"

The brunette sighed. "I'm sorry," she apologized, gnawing her bottom lip regretfully. "It worked so well with Tasha…"

"Did not!"

"But not to worry!" In one fluid motion, she picked the breathless boy up off the ground, preparing to throw him back into the depths. "We can try again- I still have faith!"

"No!" The boys rushed forward to rescue their friend from the guilt of killing Kurama.

--

After five minutes of convincing Samara that shock treatment was not the answer to Kurama's problem, the group was calm once more (and the blue-eyed water baby was silently remorseful, sullenly peeking every once in a while to a towel-covered Kurama).

Annoyed by the extended silence caused by Samara's sadness, Hiei growled, "So, is there anything in particular we can do here, or are you all just royally wasting my time?"

"Honestly?" Tasha quirked a brow, shrugging. "A little of both."

Yusuke raised a hand. "Well, there are seven of us-."

Kurama coughed a bit.

"Sorry, six plus one invalid. We could play Sharks and Minnows…" A moment of silence as everyone pondered. Yusuke bounded to his feet, fists pumping. "Not it!"

Kathryn, in a fit of surprisingly sudden joy, leapt to her feet. "Not it!"

Kuwabara and Natasha joined in the chorus, each lifting a hand uncaringly into the air.

Samara was next, smiling a bit despite her guilt (her moods, if you couldn't tell, were quick to slow to lift, but quick to fall in situations such as these).

Hiei was last, left to wallow in his pit of confusion.

Yusuke smirked. "I guess that means you're it, Hiei."

The apparition shot a quizzical look to his brown-eyed friend, eyes bidding for help.

With a short huff, Yusuke thumbed over his shoulder. "Come on. I'll explain the rules as we walk." Having said this, the group congregated in the pool's deep end, Kurama seating himself on the diving board after announcing himself mediator.

After about three-to-four minutes of explanation, Hiei was dubbed a master and Sharks and Minnows by Lord Yusuke. The black-haired human dove into the deep water, swimming across to the other side and taking a place between Kathryn and Samara. From right to left, the group was arranged Natasha, Samara, Yusuke, Kathryn, and finally Kuwabara. The koorime stood on the opposite bank of the pool, braced for action.

Kurama shouted to the only one who remained dry. "Shark ready?"

Hiei nodded dramatically, keeping his eyes on Kuwabara.

"Minnows ready?"

"Certainly are!" Natasha cried, one hand holding the wall and legs braced for the kick-off.

"Sharks ready, minnows go!'

Samara kicked off the wall, a plan set in mind. She followed the very bottom of the pool to the other side (which was about a total of twenty to twenty-five feet wide) in roughly five seconds.

Yusuke, being the daring kind, freestyled along the surface, deftly dodging any obstacle (including Hiei diving directly over him) and reaching the other side in the same amount of time as Sam.

Hiei's dive toward Kuwabara was unmistakably an attack. The poor oaf barely had time to get off the wall before being decimated by the demon in mid-leap. He would be, without a shadow of a doubt, a shark come next round.

Natasha… one could say that she was exceptionally luck that Hiei and Kuwabara were both stunned by head-butting each other mid leap, giving her enough time to flounder to the other side. Having just recently learned to swim herself, she wasn't exactly the best at it.

And Kathryn? No one's quite sure how or what tactic she used, but somehow she'd evaded Hiei and made it to the other side…completely dry. Kurama was puzzled. He'd watched everyone. There was no way that she'd walked around- how was she not wet, especially since she'd started in the water?

Shaking off his confusion, Kurama announced, "First round complete. Sharks now consist of Kuwabara and Hiei."

The Minnows celebrated their survival, high-fiving and quietly formulating a mode of operation.

The Sharks, contrarily, stood on the other side of the pool, fuming for having to be in each other's presence.

Feeling he'd allotted them enough time, Kurama beckoned their attention by lifting his arm into the air. "Sharks ready?"

The disagreeable pair nodded, quickly discussing a plan in hushed tones.

"Minnows ready?"

"Oh, yeah!" Yusuke called, preparing for the onslaught sure to be delivered. He just realized what he'd forgotten to tell Hiei- you only had to _touch_ someone to make them a shark. Hopefully Hiei wasn't planning on attacking any of the girls…

"Sharks ready, minnows go!"

Each person used the same technique from the Minnow team, just as Hiei had calculated. Viciously, he feinted a jump at Natasha (much to her horror), changing directions in midair (much to her delight) and attacking the last male minnow. The detective struggled valiantly against Alpha-Shark, but soon succumbed, having been knocked unconscious under no uncertain terms and dragged lifelessly to the other side of the pool.

Diving straight down, Kuwabara reached out for Samara, the one he'd been assigned to by the demon.

Before anyone could fully tell what was happening below the surface, a batter looking Kuwabara floated to the top of the water, followed closely by a scarlet-faced brunette. "You pervert!" she shouted, hitting him again.

The boy pulled his head out of the water. "I promise- I wasn't trying to grab your- owwie!"

"Voyeur!"

In the meantime, Kathryn and Tasha had moseyed to the ledge of the pool and were snickering at the scene. Both would be safe for the next round.

The following ordeal of reviving Yusuke and calming a fuming Samara (not to mention getting Kuwabara to halt apologizing) took around ten minutes.

Kurama returned to his post, not bothering to allow deliberation time. "Sharks ready, minnows go!"

No one quite knows why every Shark instantaneously dove for Tasha. In fact, no on knows quite how she survived the assault. What is ascertained is that when the foam and bubbles and waves had cleared, each person on the Shark team was grapping to a different part of Natasha's body. Kuwabara and Samara had manned the arms. Yusuke had aimed for the left leg, feeling that the dominant leg would hurt more if she'd struggled to kick him. Hiei, however, had attached himself, leech-like, to the girls' head. All in all, a peculiar sight.

And, you ask, "Where was Kathryn in all of this carnage?" Standing on the victorious side of the pool, looking curiously at the entangled mess of limbs floating on the water.

"Um… Kathryn wins!"

Silence.

--

"Splashing Contest!" Kuwabara announced, smashing his juice-box down on the table.

The group looked over, confused. They were all in the picnic area, indulging themselves with sandwiches (courtesy of Kathryn and Kurama) and juice boxes when the buffoon had yelled mightily.

"What on earth are you bitching at, Kuwa?" Yusuke inquired, taking another bit of sandwich.

The orange-haired teen pointed to the diving board over his shoulder, a smiled playing across his features in what he figured was a 'debonair' manner. "I got a game idea."

The crew sat at attention, ears perking a bit in interest.

"Well, continued." Natasha snapped, eager to do something in her time.

"It's pretty simple," he described, a bit giddy at all the attention he was receiving. "Everyone dives off the board. Whoever makes the biggest splash wins. Easy, right?"

The silence that followed was a 'Kuwabara's Being Stupid' silence (which the namesake was all too familiar with), with each person having equipped their 'what the hell' stares just for the occasion.

Kurama was the first to recover. "Well… I could judge the splashes…"

Yusuke raised a hand lazily. "Do we have to dive, or can we belly flop?"

"Any means of getting from the board to the water is legal." Kuwabara held up one finger, symbolizing the only rule. "You just have to make a really ginormous splash!… but I'd have to be against a belly flop- those hurt."

The ebony haired detective stood. "Sweet, then I'm totally in!" He peered over his shoulder, smirking. "Ladies?"

The three nodded, standing and following the two boys to the diving board. Kathryn stopped half-way there. Turning on her heel, she gestured toward Hiei. "You're not getting out of this, boy." She affirmed, pointing down at her feet in a motion for him to follow. "Come on and fight like a man!" She pumped her fists in the air, excited for the challenge. But, just as quickly as the emotion surfaced, she was back to her old self. Hiei took the challenge, lining up between Samara and Natasha.

Kurama climbed into one of the abandoned lifeguard towers, making himself comfortable; he even busied himself adjusting his red-and-white umbrella.

"What are you doing, Suichi?" Yusuke called, cupping his mouth to make himself louder.

"It' high up, so I will be able to see better." The kitsune replied. Then he smiled, pointing at the sun-protection. "And there's an umbrella, so I won't burn!"

Tasha scoffed. "What a chick…"

Hiei smirked. "This coming from the girl wearing SPF 500…" He paused, crimson eyes narrowing a bit in thought. "What does that mean, anyway?"

"Sun Protection Factor." Samara answered curtly, titling her head to one side and rolling her eyes. She made it seem like she thought it was only the most obvious thing in the world.

Kathryn nodded in agreement, looking to Samara, then back to Hiei. "Yes, that must be it. She's very good with knowing such things."

No one was quite sure how to respond. Thus, they did not.

Kuwabara stepped onto the board, pumped for action. "Ready when you are, Suichi!" His fists gripped the handrails, legs bent and ready to run.

Kurama shrugged. "Go."

The tall one lunged forward, rocketing off the apparatus with fantastic hang-time. The landing, however, wasn't so pretty. Making a small 'plop', Kuwabara landed feet first, making a small, disappointing splash.

He surfaced a few seconds later, pouting. "Knew I should have done a cannonball…" Swimming to the side and latching on, the defeated Kuwabara watched Yusuke mount the board.

"My turn!" he bellowed. Sprinting, he bounced at the end of the board, adopting the fetal position in mid-jump. "Thanks for the clue- Cannonball!" Yusuke connected with the surface, water splashing high into the air- a truly impressive splash.

Kurama shook his head. _Cheater…_he thought._ The girls don't have any spirit energy to use for augmentation… And Kuwabara clearly didn't use his… Oh well, it's all in good fun, I guess…_

The peanut gallery by the board oohed, impressed.

Kathryn, unintimidated, took to the board, walking to the end of the plant and breathing deeply. "Here goes." She whispered. Bending her legs, Kathryn bounced off into the sky, becoming completely parallel with the water.

Yusuke looked on, concerned. _A belly flop? Really? Ouch…_

She fell closer to the water, pulling herself into a ball at the last possible second. For her size, the splash was formidable.

After a couple seconds, she resurfaced, eyes on Kurama.

"Survey says?" Yusuke shouted, looking up.

Kurama shook his head. "Yusuke is still in the lead…" He held up his index finger and thumb inches apart. "Just by a little."

The brown-eyed boy yelped for joy. As Kathryn swam over, Kuwabara couldn't help but ask, "Where did you learn that?"

"Suicidal, masochistic ex-boyfriend."

Samara was up to plate. With a quick breath, she bolted toward the water. Halfway down the board, though, she (of course) tripped. Unable to catch her balance, she face planted into the water. Nice splashing sound, true, but not so well in the splashing department. Rubbing her sore face, she sat on the laddre by Kuwabara, insisting that she was fine despite the slight swelling.

Hiei then felt it time to grace the plank with his presence. In a fashion similar to Kathryn's, he made his way toward the end of the board. At the end, he stopped, arching a brow and looking around. With a small shrug, he muttered, "What the hell..." He bent his legs, preparing for the spring, then launched off the board, curled into a ball, flipped three times in the air and landed with a powerful splash (not to mention that he dazzled the ones watching). Yusuke gritted his teeth, knowing he'd been beat. He made his way to the side of the pool, face slightly smug in spite of the idiocy of the event.

Tasha was the last. She hated the diving board. In fact, she didn't even want to participate, but she'd rather deal with the pain of defeat than the sting of Kathryn and Samara throwing her in later. At the last stretch of the board, she curled into the fetal position, then fell forward. It looked painful and produced a very limited splash. All in all, not worth it.

"Well, I suppose that's that." Kurama stood, preparing to get back on the ground. "The winner is Hiei-ahh!" During some of the larger dives, some of the water flying through the air had landed just where the fox-demon's foot had been. He, of course, had not been bargaining for this, and thus slipped into the water four feet below.

"Hey, you okay?"

Kurama's head surfaced with a peeved expression. "Well," he mumbled. "It appears I'm taller than five feet..."

Half an hour later and everyone was in the shallow waters (specifically for Kurama so that he could enjoy the pool without the pain of drowning).

Samara, Kurama, and Hiei stood in a tight circle, passing time with some polite and albeit obscure conversation. Across at the stairs were Kuwabara and Natasha. The two were, yet again, comparing scars (Kuwabara having to frequently think of fake stories to tell concerning som eof his more brutal wounds). Yusuke and Kathryn, however, were plotting...

"ATTACK!"

The blue-haired girl's cry attracted the remaining of the crew's attention, Hiei turning just in time to be clotheslined by the oncoming attackers.

The group turned to look at the offender's, Yusuke and Kathryn, the latter perched on th eolder's shoulders with her hands at the ready. "Chicken!" The two yelled out, unified.

Tasha and Kuwabara vaulted instantaneously to their feet, the female forcefully shoving the other down to climb on his shoulders. "To Sparta!" she screamed, throwing an arm into the air as the carrot-top rose from the water.

He paused, looking up at the fantasizing girl. "You're a little messed up, aren't you?"

"... Tonight we dine in hell!"

Kuwabara sighed. "That's what I figured."

The final group to join was Samara and Hiei (with the boy having no problems using Samara as his steed to extort his revenge on the smallish girl). Kurama, during this time, had found it wise to skulk away while everyone was distracted.

Yusuke and Samara charged at each other, ignoring the large obelesk-like creature that was Kuwbara's team wading in the water a few feet away.

The two on bottom butted heads, growling a bit in their effort to stay upright as the two poised on their shoulders linked hands and pushed. It was obviously a one-sided match with Hiei being the stronger party. It would have been the victorious party, too, had Yusuke not shoved Samara's foot backward. Her foot caught the slick black tile, catapulting her backwards as she shoved the boy on her shoulders into Kathryn. Both teams fell into the water in a massive lump of apendages.

Tasha and Kuwbara stood apart from them, overlooking the carnage, flabberghasted. The damage was done... even without their participation.

The brunette yelled, "Victory!"

_Splash._

Kuwbara peered around, confused at the sudden lack of weight on his shoulders. "...Natasha...?"


End file.
